Will Durst, Comedian
interviewed by Mattro
Raptorial

Will Durst is a comic work-aholic, constantly touring clubs and, for the past year, writing a daily column that can be found on the internet. He loves doing stand up for a living and insists he does not want his own television sitcom. His goal, simply put, is to make people laugh against their will. This isn't a problem for Durst. His material is political in nature and contains a scathingly sharp wit. Yet he also has a deceptively good natured side... which often gets him compared to Will Rogers. Durst considers this a high honor, but somewhat of an overstatement. He prefers to think of himself as a "living editorial cartoon".

Durst has produced three comedy albums, the latest of which, You Can't Make Stuff Up Like This, is due out Fall of '97. He has two TV shows lined up for future PBS runs: Livelyhood, (premiering late November '97!) a series about people who work and changes in the work place; and The Durst Amendment, airing in most cities after Mark Russell to which Durst laments: "I'm the alternative to the old guy with the piano."

Will Durst spoke to me on the telephone from San Francisco and from the road via the internet.

How long have you been doing stand up?

Oh God, 23 years in November.

Did you always focus on politics in your routines or did you go through a "jokes about airline food and socks in the dryer" phase?

Both. Never did socks in the dryer, but I kinda did some generic stuff... a lot of political and topical stuff, only because my Dad read five newspapers a day and I thought everybody did, that's the way I grew up. I just took what I knew to the stage. I couldn't do relationship humor since I didn't date (chuckle), so I was kinda stuck with what I knew. My first political joke was after Nixon had just abdicated "When the going gets tough the tough get phlebitis." That was a long time ago (assumes voice of your grandpa) 'back in the 1970s when comedy was still in black & white. '

What do you think of that Will Rogers comparison everyone always makes?

You know what? People are just trying to plot coordinates... to figure out categories. If that helps them plot, well it's a pretty impressive description. It might be a little too impressive, actually.

Do you tone down the politics in your act depending on where you are performing?

I tone down just about everything in my act depending on where I'm performing. The politics, the language... my job isn't to proselytize. My job is to make people laugh out loud on purpose. That's all I try to do, I try to make them laugh. AND if I can make a statement within that then that's great. That's what I try to do.

Do you get the feeling that American audiences have become more, or less, political since you started out?

Both, in an odd sort of way. They know more because there are 24 hour news channels and national newspapers. There's all sorts of reasons why they should know more. I think they know more about big topical stories like the Cunanan manhunt, but they don't pay attention to the little stuff. That's one of the things that I can't do I can't know too much more than them... I kinda have to be a translator. I'm a third generation factory worker, I'm not a poli-sci major. I just try to translate for the ordinary person what's going on. I try to pick up the rock and uncover the hypocrisy.

What are your favorite cities to perform in?

I love Seattle. I love Denver, Boston. People read in Seattle. You see, my comedy isn't that restrictive, it's comedy for people who read or know someone who does. That's why Seattle is a great town. The Comedy Underground used to be one of the best clubs in the country for a number of reasons. One because the make up and demographics of the city and another just because the physical shape of the room... it's downstairs, kind of in a basement, it's all brick so the sound reverberates and the laughs just kick through that room.

Where would you rather NOT have to do a show?

I kinda have this deal with the South. If you draw an invisible line from St. Louis to Atlanta, I don't work south of there and they don't hire me. They don't like their comedy ironic or sarcastic. They want their humor up front and good natured. No hidden agendas, if you please.

Do you do shows outside of the U.S.?

I've worked in Scotland, Ireland, England and Australia.

How are you received in those countries?

Well, it's kind of embarrassing. They like my stuff there more than they do here in the States. Part of it is because I bash America. And they love that. What I try to explain to them is "Hey man, you're laughing at the wrong parts." And then I start defending... I get defensive. It's like you can make fun of people in your family, but nobody from the outside can say "your sister's got a big nose," y'know what I mean?

What is/was the best thing that ever happened to stand up comedy...

Cable television. The thing that killed stand up was cable television... and papering (giving out free passes to fill the seats with beer drinking bodies).

What do you think of the internet so far, and in what ways do you use it?

I get e-mail and I send off my little column every day and that's about it. I don't have time to surf. I'm not a surfer. It takes so much time and I get such a slow download. I don't use it that much yet. And the hotels charge you per minute to use the phone line.

You're doing "Daily Dose of Durst" for Working Assets On-line, and you are a regular commentator on PRI's Marketplace... How did you get involved in these projects?

They both called me. I'm eminently approachable. I even do weekly commentaries for the Progressive Networks on the internet. The billionaire who owns that company makes me pay for my own phone calls to Seattle. Paul Allen, a guy who made a billion dollars in one day two weeks ago, he runs Progressive Networks and I have to pay for my own phone costs to call in the column... and I get no money. I'm very confused.

Describe your personal experiences with censorship.

They were unusual. I was on Letterman one time and I got censored twice. I'm the only comic ever to be bleeped twice in one Letterman. I did a couple of jokes and they cut in... one joke was "Reagan tells a lot of jokes he said 'we're gonna bomb Moscow' ha ha ha. We tell jokes too Ron, we're gonna give Hinckley another gun." And they bleeped 'Hinckley.'

Oh great. 'Hinckley' must be one of those seven words you can't say on TV.

I guess. Maybe they knew I meant it with a 'CK'.

I hear a lot of stories about censorship on Letterman. They edited out completely what would've been Bill Hicks' last appearance on the show. Did you know Hicks?

Yeah. I met Bill a couple of times. He was the best of us. He was the bravest and the smartest. I was on a radio show with him about a month before he died, here in San Francisco. He was very funny. He kept saying he was on his 'Farewell Tour.' He knew he was dying and he kept saying he was 'getting out of comedy,' it was very ironic.

Did anyone else know he was dying?

No. He told no one. No one knew. I think his manager knew and that was it.

Back on the subject of TV, have you ever been on Bill Maher's show?

No.

What's the deal with that? He always has some 'Republican Activist', whatever the Hell that is, on his show but I rarely see any truly progressive people on there.

I would like to be on that show. I just don't have an agent or a manager. Bill and I... I'm not sure we get along. We did a show on Comedy Central during the '92 election that was in New York and he used that connection to get Politically Incorrect on the air. He and I... it was just tough a couple of egos battin' against each other. But I think he's been very important to show business.

Yeah, I've seen some fairly impressive discussions take place on that show. We'll start an e-mail campaign and tell him to get you on the show.

Oh good.

[To hassle Bill Maher about (so far) not including Will Durst on his guest list, drop him a line via the mail form on the official PI web site]

What's your new album called and when will it be in stores?

The album is called You Can't Make Stuff Up Like This. It's based on the 1996 elections. I'm just working on the artwork now.

Is this your first comedy release?

Actually it's my third. Strange Bedfellows was on a label called Black Rose, which was part of Geffen. That's a compilation with myself and three other guys based on the '92 elections. And then there's None of the Above which was put out locally in San Francisco and that's just available on cassette. The last one was based on the '88 elections.

What are some other gigs you have lined up or going right now?

I'm doing two TV shows for PBS. One's called Livelyhood and it's about people who work and the changes that are happening in the workplace. It's not ALL funny, it's kinda serious. The other show is called The Durst Amendment which we tape at KQED down here in San Francisco and we're giving it away to the PBS outlets around the country. Seattle picked up the last two editions what they do is they run it after Mark Russell. So I'm the alternative to the old guy and the piano.

There are actually two PBS stations up here, one in Tacoma and one in Seattle. The one in Tacoma is much more progressive. During the Gulf War build up and bombings, they were the only station platforming anti-war perspectives. They showed stuff from "Paper Tiger" in New York.

Did you see that show Vote For Me on PBS? It was a four hour special that was pretty good. It followed the electoral process and I thought it was pretty subversive. We did a show a long time ago called, We Do the Work, that they syndicated around to different PBS stations. I bet the one in Tacoma picked it up, not sure if Seattle did. It was a half hour weekly show. They still might be throwing on some old episodes. Livelyhood is kinda the older, smarter brother of We Do the Work. Again, it's for people who work for a living or know someone who does. It's not for everybody.

What advice do you have for struggling comedians or artists in general?

Get out of the fucking business. I don't need the competition. That's why I'm so glad every time I hear a comedian has gotten a sitcom... good! I'm glad. Get off my fucking stage! I really like doing stand up. It's so much fun making people laugh out loud, on purpose, against their will. It really is.

Pretend you are a confidant of someone powerful... Clinton for example... what advice would you give to that person?

Geez, Bill, lighten up, dude. Quit speaking like a Republican with guilt. Be the guy that you want to be.

What did you think of Clinton's "Monsters of NATO" tour through Europe a few weeks ago?

(laughs) "NATO-Palooza"... It's all such bullshit. It's just posturing. The Republicans are doing the same thing. How convenient for Bill to be out of town when the campaign finance hearings started. I love the Republicans... "We need an investigation!" All right... then we'll investigate everybody. "No... we don't need a full scale investigation." Pay no attention to the 535 white men behind the Congressional curtain. Y'know all of these guys talk about campaign finance reform but, if push came to shove, I think they'd rather be photographed naked under a goat at a Junkie Biker Hooker's for Satan convention.

As a smoker, what do you make of all this tobacco industry hulabaloo?

Don't you think the Attorney General is going to feel like a really bad negotiator? "All right... we want $368 billion!" And the tobacco industry goes, "uh okay." Wait we could've gotten $500 billion easy! $368 billion settlement and the next day the stocks go up. How much money do they have?

And now they're just going to turn Joe Camel into a collector's item. There'll be Joe Camel conventions and all that stuff.

Hey I don't care. I've become so California-ized. I only smoke outside. I never smoke in a restaurant even when I can. I just feel so guilty. As long as I get to smoke, I don't care where they make me do it. I'm gonna be a leper. They're gonna make us wear bells pretty soon so they can hear us approach.

Who's next on the 'blame somebody' short list, do you think it's the auto industry....

No I think choco-holics are next. Second hand chocolate.

I heard reported today that there are 18 American embassies around the world that have no appointed ambassador. Which country would you like to be ambassador to and why?

Me?! Some country with a lot of golf courses and beaches. Bermuda comes to mind. Some place where I could speak English. Belize would work, because it used to be British Honduras. Some place where I could get a decent cup of coffee and the New York Times. I guess. That would be very important to me. Let's say Belize, because they have golf courses, beaches and snorkeling.

As the millennium approaches on the calendar of the Western world, do you see the industrialized nations becoming peacefully introspective or wigging out in mass hysteria?

Oh, I think the world is gonna end on January 1st, 2001. I think there's going to be a big party going on and all I want is the mylar balloon concession.

Where would you want to be?

Right here in San Francisco. In the 415 area code.

Is this when the earthquake is going to hit too?

Naw. We already had our earthquake. The next quake, the big one, is going to hit and the rest of the country is going to slide into the Atlantic. We're going to make Pullman the 'East Coast.'

That's cool. I've always wanted to move the capitol of the US out West. I think we'd be a saner nation that way.

We could ski right into the ocean.

If you could, would you join a Mars colony?

I'd love to go up there. I really would.

How would your act change under increased gravity?

(laughs) I imagine my voice would be deeper. My dream comic has the improvisational skills of Robin Williams and the incisive wit of George Carlin. So maybe the gravity would give that to me.

That's all the stuff I had written down and prepared.

Well, make up shit.

Okay. Out of curiosity, what kind of music do you listen to?

I don't listen to music. I listen to news talk. I listen to music once a year when I go down to New Orleans for the jazz fest. If I listen to anything it'll be jazz or blues.

Ever go down there for Mardi Gras?

No, never done Gras.

Have you ever met Jello Biafra?

Yeah. He's a great guy. I ran for Mayor of San Francisco one year and he moderated a panel between me and another guy who ran.

You ran for Mayor? How did you do?

I spent $1200, received 2% of the vote, coming in fourth out of eleven candidates. The three guys who beat me out spent a million dollars a piece. So on a dollar per vote basis I am the Mayor of San Francisco. Unfortunately it doesn't work that way.

SF has all the interesting mayorial candidates. Were you living in San Francisco when Jello Biafra ran for Mayor?

No I wasn't in town.

I was pretty horrified by what happened to Jello a couple of years ago, when he was attacked. Did you hear about that?

No.

The way I heard the story was, he was at a show, standing near the mosh pit, and some audience member, apparently, decided Jello was a "sellout," threw him down and kicked his knee in backwards.

Kicked his knee in backwards?

Yeah. I guess all they know about the asshole who did it is that he was driving a camper or truck with Arizona plates. Him and his friends took off and last I heard the dudes were never caught. Jello's walking around with a limp nowadays, had to have surgery and was out of commission for awhile.

Aw Geez I didn't know that. Where'd that happen?

That was down in the SF area, Berkeley or somewhere, about two and a half years ago. It took a long time for him to come out with another release of any kind and everyone was kinda wondering "is he gonna give it up? Is this the thing that makes Jello cash it in and disappear?"

Kicked his knee in backwards... So it bent the wrong way is what you're saying. Geez.

But he's back. He did a new album with his band, Lard. He didn't give up.

Oh Good. He can't.

No. We need Jello.

Yeah, we do. I was glad to see that Band magazine came out with the top 50 albums ever out of California and Dead Kennedys made number 10, I think.

Which one? Probably their first one, Fresh Fruit for Rotting Vegetables.

Yeah.

My favorite is Frankenchrist. The one they were sued over twice. Well hey man, it was great talking to you.

Stay out of trouble.

Later, man.

Pshaw.

A shorter version of this interview was published in the Sept./Oct. 1997 edition of Washington Free Press.

<--- Back to Music/Comedy main page