Law School Sell Outs?

Sad but true, the law school experience is designed to push our limits, and designed to test our skills. Some take pride in this life-test, while some grin-and-bear-it, while still others get the hell out. All have valid perspectives; all are dealing with this endeavor in their own way.

However, above and beyond the battles that law school provides, another dynamic is in effect: churning and processing us, assembling and laminating our collective perceptions, fears, hopes and dreams. Herein lies the real tragedy of the law students’ experience, for many will be caught in the head lights, lost, and find themselves unwittingly placed in a world where friends are few, money is the carrot before the donkey, and personal satisfaction comes in short spurts much like a poor crack addict who spends the day begging for change in front of the Texaco station...just to get a rock.

"It took me almost 6 months before I started to awake from the unspeakable slumber that I was in," said one 1L who was expressing the guilt and loathing that accompanies such sudden moments of clarity. "I was so caught up in the daily grind of the force-feeding process here, I forgot why I came here, why I wanted to be a lawyer in the first place." So right you are, and sadly, one of the few who realize it earlier enough to act upon it before the practice overtakes you.

The mad rush of sheep-like brain-children, towards the faceless trenches of Perkins Coie, Graham & James, and all the other "bendover" legal practices that plague our fair city of Seattle, is a tragedy in action. The future defenders of industrial polluters, corporate raiders, slum landlords, and investment capitalist are poised and ready to sweat, their futures are being planned as we speak. That’s right kiddies, prepare to be placed under the collective (well-paid) heel of the corporate firm, bendover that hitching post, and bite your lip. The billable phallus is coming, and it has your collective rear-end in mind.

Oh dear 1Ls who are slaves to fashion, slaves to your images, slaves to the false belief in the importance of your power, the world pities you, fears you and quite honestly, would be tickled pink if you simply shifted gears and decided to own your own International House of Pancakes. I, for one, concur. The world is full enough of greedy bastards who are excellent at rationalizing power, theft, and market systems that rob people out of their underpants. We implore you, wake up now, for your skills can be better utilized, your heart-felt passion for law can be placed up against the massive stone that is the slow degradation of our planet and our societies.

Perhaps it may sound as if we espouse a political theory just slightly right of the communist politburo. Well, actually, not at all. This is not about politics, or economic theory, or anything inherently ideological. In fact, it is really a spiritual call. One bonding agent that is undeniable, that allows Democrats and Republicans, Atheists and Devout Religousites, apathetics and indulgents to come together...is our common place, our common suffering.

OK, so it all sounds a bit theatrical? All we are asking is that the law students at this potentially powerful institution make a devout and sincere effort to step above the slime, and make a mark in a different way. Give back...not just pro bono, not just on weekends with your community church, synagogue, monastery, mosque...but everyday, in all ways, in life and in practice.

We know that this call will not be heeded. In fact, it seems rather futile that we are making such a senseless call at all.

After all, did anyone happen to catch the comedic performance in which the fools lined up for the ass-kissing process of fall interviews? It was an education in idiocy, and a real sad drama as to how unbelievably gullible a group that pretends to be "among the most intelligent" can be.

Alas, such is the tragedy of the American Law school machine. Those who are the most intelligent are the most foolish, while the "mediocre" students end up doing the most important work, making marks for all time, and putting people and their tribulations above self-interested brass-grabbing.

In all sincerity, we are still hopeful that the SU folks can still change, but I certainly wouldn’t put any money down on that. I mean, has anyone seen how many folks are frothing at the mouth so that they can study corporate tax? Yup, the American Dream lives on. And we wonder why lawyers are among the most detested professions on Earth. Ha!

"That’s right kiddies, prepare to be placed under the collective (well-paid) heel of the corporate firm, bendover that hitching post, and bite your lip.

The billable phallus is coming, and it has your collective rear-end in mind."