life is just a prank call.

WARNING:
Wrench Boy is not an actual savior. He is merely a
mechanism for you to utilize and exploit in your pointless
quest for spiritual fulfillment. Saying "Wrench Boy blesses
you" or "Wrench Boy made me do it," is very much like
saying "Look at me, I'm an idiot."
Mr. Boy is not here to save you. Don't even ask.

Wrench Boy exists in the past, present and future jointly. He traverses all the planes of existence at the same time, even as you stand and talk to him. He is all genders and neuter. All of this makes it difficult to place him in a sentence without making him sound one-sided and human.
	Wrench is the information highway and is 100% fiber-optic. He is AT&T, MCI, Sprint and WALD combined. He is every satellite and radio tower; he is both interactive and closed-circuit. He is the sole corporation that will dominate and control the world via the information flowing along the networks.
W.B. is your computer upgrade; the 'power' in PowerPC. He is the hike in your cable bill even though television gets more boring and insulting with every new channel.
	Wrench Boy is the nightly news; the 'this' in "This just in..." He is the oldest of all late breaking stories. He is the Joker AND Batman; Superman and Lex Luthor. Heaven and Hell. He is Wonder Woman, Jamie Summers and both Cagney & Lacey. W.B. knows that creationism and evolution are one and the same thing, for in order to become a God who can create a heaven and hell, a race must first evolve for billions of years. It is from God we are born. It is from Evolution that we become Gods. Creation and Evolution are siblings forever dancing in a circle, trading beginnings, exchanging endings. Laughing maniacally.
Wrench feels it is silly for humans, particularly politicians, to attempt to regulate Terran plantlife by law. That which grows from the ground is subject to higher laws than humanity can legislate. It is the ultimate sign of human arrogance and stupidity to point at a naturally occurring plant (or fungus) and declare it 'illegal'.

Wrench, as his friends call him, is the start and finish. He is the tension before the starting gun and the exhilaration/disgust that lasts after winners and losers have been judged. He is the determination of every athlete, the predetermination of every competition. He knows the outcome of every sporting event and wins every bet he places. Betting against Wrench Boy is inadvisable. Bet with him and you'll win every time. But this is not, I repeat, not salvation. It's gambling-- a desperate demonstration of greed and a certain culture's pursuit of effortless reward.

If you do win money, please don't send it to Wrench Boy.
He doesn't want it.
He doesn't need it.
And he certainly doesn't deserve it.