5.1

From the editor:

Many extraordinary things have been said about Mr. Boy. Many misguided individuals believe him to be the one who, for the most part, created the universe with his own imagination and conclude we will cease to exist if he awakens from this creationary day dream. We know he can place himself anywhere at any time as simply as you and I can think of the color blue and then switch to thinking about red. Wrench Boy can witness two or more events simultaneously even easier than we can imagine the colors blue, red and green sitting side by side. But did you know that Wrench Boy is as useless as the lint in your pocket? as nervous as a mouse at a cat show? He may be smart enough to charm a mountain into moving aside, but he's also eccentric and forgetful. In fact, he's forgotten more history than all of humanity combined will ever know. Most important of all.... he's very annoying. He is the kitty litter crunching under your bare feet as you stumble into your bathroom in the middle of the night. He is the cobweb on your tall ceiling, the strand you can do nothing about for it is just out of reach, even when you stand on a chair.   On the freeway, when the car in front of you drenches your windshield with puddle splash, Wrench Boy is the brief moment of panic you feel when realizing you're moving very very fast and cannot see a damned thing at all. He is a reflection of us all, but he is also a mirror in the dark reflecting the dark. He is a derelict begging for change, both spare and much needed.

He is every traffic death. Wrench Boy is the collapsed house that crushes and suffocates after an earthquake. He is the feeling of dread and violation when you realize everything you hold dear is gone forever. He is the stock market collapse, the S&L crisis, Black Monday and Super Saturday. Wrench is the being you all wish to thank and praise and beg for 'after' life from. He, after all, is the creator of all you consider good, whatever that may be. At the same time, he is the cause of every bad thing that has ever happened to you or anyone else. He is the El Salvadoran death squad that killed an entire family on suspicions they were fighting for their freedom. He is the stray bullet from a gang incident that killed a friend who lives down the street. He is the all-star quarterback whose neck was snapped during a relatively unimportant game.

He is the fragment of John F. Kennedy's skull hanging frozen in mid-air on your VCR's freeze frame.

Wrench Boy dances on the screams filling the air of a jumbo jet as it plummets toward a collision with the earth.

He is the caged and chained baby calf noisily attempting to stand up and turn around for the first time in its life before it is made into a dish called 'veal'.

He is the angry bear that howls in confusion at shrinking forests. Meanwhile, beings with guns chase him and howl in drunken fun.

He is the only one who can stop horrible things from happening, but doesn't. If you worship Wrench Boy for the great things he can do (which is not only ill advised but downright moronic), then you must curse him for all the pain he has caused. Just as he refuses to be your God, he especially refuses to conveniently create a 'devil' for you to blame all earthly misfortunes on. Gods and Devils have always been one and the same, in myth as in reality.

2000 © Raptorial Media